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Done! You’d have thought someone at apple would have caught this in quality control? no?

Myself, a guy same age as myself and a girl same age my self are walking on an unpaved walkway beside a canyon through which a river flowed. Soon I come up with the idea that it’d be nice to be able to cross the river, and mind you this isn’t a small stream cum only named river, this is a full blown Nile/Indus/Amazon equivalent river that stretches around 1~3 km across. So, myself and girl started slowly walking across the river, the other guy said that we were morons and he excused himself from this doomed adventure.

Soon the water was too deep to be walking so i started the cycling motion of the feet in order to stay afloat and upright at the same time. As i was slowly moving forward across the river, I noticed something brush past my feet, i disregarded it initially as just something trivial. However, as it happened again, i tried to look through the water to what it was. Soon I realized that this was a giant river dolphin. Under most normal circumstances, if i am ever in such a situation, two things will happen, 1 – I will swim towards the shore as fast as possible 2 – The thought of killing/fishing and than eating the dolphin will never enter my mind. However, this is a dream, so what happens here is that I take my harpoon (not I have one) and actively start trying to hunt this dolphin, and soon enough I have this thing impaled. Also, I am not missing on the details, it really is very easy to harpoon things in one’s sleep. Anyways, getting back, I started swimming towards the shore along with my kill. Once I reached there, i placed the dolphin on concrete steps that were present right at the river’s edge.

All was great, I was convinced that once on the steps, this thing could in no way make it back to the sea. However, soon I realized that water level in the river had started rising and consequently I started running upstairs on the same concrete steps that now extended to the top of the  barren canyon. I could constantly feel the water touching my heels. A thought crossed my mind, that is, whatever happened to the fish that I had placed at the bottom of the steps, as I was thinking that, I started slowing down and now the water was at my knees, all the while the level was increasing quickly and with in minutes it was at my waist. The fact that I was trying climb stairs all the while getting engulfed in more and more water slowing my progress. Right at the instant I thought that I would be gone with the flood, either my speed increased or the fill rate decreased and soon I found my self at the top of the valley.

When I got to the top, I saw the same man that I had seen at the start … sitting there smirking at me, as if he was mocking my stupidity to go diving in river waters.

Fade Out …

I am traveling somewhere in the far eastern Asia, which isn’t that surprising given Top Gear did a hell of a job in one their episodes. I, however, am travelling through a local bus instead of my own transport. There are a bunch of people around, however, i have no recollection of their faces or any notable actions. Eventually, the bus stopped for refreshments etc. Some folks decided to start a BBQ while the bus was there. It was all great, the food also tasted great, as it always does so in such dreams.

Than some jack-ass decided to throw stones at the bee hives because they thought that once all the bees go away, they will be able to take the honey from the hive. That said, throwing stones at the bee hives has never really been a successful technique. The bees were off course first livid and than furious and they started attacking anyone and everyone, hundreds of thousands of them. It seemed as if there was no escape what so ever. I too started running relentlessly, however, it seems that the bees can out fly humans at a fairly quick rate.

As i glanced back, i realized that a lot of people had jumped back into the bus and the bus was now moving away,  ditching everyone who was left behind. The only cosulation lied in the fact that thousands of bees had entered the bus and people inside were trying to squat each bee individually. I was some distance away, however, still it was a rather comical scene watching 10~20 people hitting the walls and windows of the bus with their shoes repeatedly, almost as if they suffered from some mental illness and the walls were causing it.

Lets not overlook the fact that I am still running, all the while looking at the drama in the ever moving away bus. There was also a small canal beside the BBQ spot, which was now filled with a number of people that had jumped in to escape from the bees, as bees have never been known as swimmers. These people would come out briefly and get stung by tons and tons of bees. Oddly enough, I donot recall seeing any casualties, just100~200 hundred people at the mercy of bees.

As I kept running from the bees, I realized that may be the bees only wanted the BBQ and they were distracted by people that were causing the ruckus, but running around, moving around etc. If they just stop running around, the Bees will only get focused on what they want the most, i.e. sandwiches. I started yelling, let them have their sandwiches, stop moving, they will just go after the sandwiches. Soon enough the bees retracted and concentrated on eating the BBQ that was left since the start of the debacle. I guess, these were some next variation of killer bees that they could eat cooked meat instead of flower pollen.

Finally, everything subsided and i was pleased to find out that the bees had not done any damage to myself and I had come out scratch free.

Fade out …

Apparently my brain believes that I applied for joining the Marine Reserves at some point and this is high time in the summer of 2010 and my application has come through and they are starting their training program right away. Regarding the context of this dream, I have only watched on military training movie, and that was Full Metal Jacket.

Soon I had to pack up and leave, which was no big deal. I got in my minivan, a lovely Nissan Axxess, which coincidentally I have never owned or known anyone who did, but it always looked like a peculiar car designed for  folks that lack obshttp://crazydream.org/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=52ervation skills to realize that its only half a Minivan.

Now, I don’t know how I transitioned from the Nissan Axxess to a C-130  but just to mention here that I did fly in those monsters rather frequently at one point, so this one is no surprise and those planes have an intimidating interior and a half and did I mention absolute lack of any sound proofing, you can hear each engine screeching its own frequency like you can see light in day. Getting back on track, we were dropped over a giant rocky structure and it only took me a few minutes to realize that this was the iconic Australian landmark, Uluru, however, in my dream it was so tidly placed on a flat plane, absolutely not. It was indeed placed on a colossal cliff edge that Wiley Coyote is so well known to fall off of.

Soon the daily training started, with mostly involved running and more running in anticipation of the final big task. For some reason i can recall running in suits but with military camouflage pattern on them. Finally, the anticipation of the big day ends and we are informed of our final task. The final task was to climb a vertical pen (without any horizontal bar support) of bald eagles, it had to be at least 100 ft tall, with many trees just as tall inside the pen. There were two other candidates besides me, a fairly overweight girl and a raccoon. The raccoon’s job was to set the target time to beat for climbing that pen.

First went the raccoon but it never came back, we waited and waiting, until we were informed that raccon made it to the other side (whatever that meant) and now it was our turn. The girl went first, soon she was done and all thought to myself was that, how hard could this possible be, if an overweight girl can do it so can I.

Soon I was the wearing the harness getting ready to climb. after about 10 ft or so I realized that the dozen or so bald eagles behind the cage were irritated and very aggressive and they could attack anything any moment. My only hope was that they would keep distracted and not bother me. There was sufficient space between the verticle bars that they could rip any piece of meat they wanted right off of me any second. Slowly, I kept climbing, trying to be quite and at the same time keep an eye on everything around me. Soon I was at the top, now the task was to return back down. Once again slowly I started my dissent, and I took one last look at the pen, at this point I saw one eagle had practically destroyed a competitor all of a sudden all its attention was at me and I had no other option to cut loose the harness and fall to the ground.

…….. fade out.

This dream starts with my walking outside in near snow storm conditions, with temperatures between -20~-25 degree Celsius below zero. In full disclaimer, about a decade back, when i was no older than 15~16 I had the amazing experience of getting lost on a Toronto’s suburb streets for 3 hours in extreme blizzard conditions, all the while being very inappropriately dressed for such weather. Basically I was caught in a really cold situation wearing practically nothing. I have no idea how managed to walk home without collapsing or outright dying that day. And unlike the city, there are vast distances to be walked in these suburbs before one can run into a Tim Hortons or a strip mall of sorts. Consequently, since I frequently get dreams of walking the same path under extreme winter conditions.

However, the unique aspect of this one was that not only I was walking outside in a Canadian Winter (yes it deserves its own capital “W”) but I was watching as tons and tons of people were driving by. Finally, what I saw was a set of about 10~12 girls (same age bracket as your’s truly) that were trying to cross an intersection in their, and as each time they will try to cross the road their car would get stuck in a snow bank in the middle of the road. As this happened more than once, I came to a solem conclusion that this town’s women are terrible drivers, lets put aside the fact that I rarely see/hear men in my dreams and I am guessing for a good reason too, because it can get awfully awkward very quickly, the only recent case I can remember was from here, but even that was just hearing a voice, not actually seeing. Anyways, enough distraction, soon it got so bad, that the cars were running into each other and into the snow banks. Soon it got so bad that all of them were stuck in the terrible weather as myself. So, I had  no other option but to go upto them and offer my help. Off course, its my dream and my snow bank, no one can drive better than me in my dream.

Getting back to the girls, I had to help them one by one to cross the said intersection, about 10 cars or so. And as these cars were taken out to safe locations, all but last 3 girls had left and were no where to be seen. Now don’t worry this won’t turn into any porno scene from here with some awful music. Now for the girls that were left decided to join myself for my walk around town as I looked for my house or the house of anyone I knew. However, I never found my home even by the end of the dream, but I did realize that each of them was wearing a green skirt made of toasted bread. Sort of the way mold grows on bread color. I was almost half tempted to taste test that, as I had done many years when was a student & broke, I was so hungry one day that when I took out some bread to eat I realized that half of it had mold on it, I just ripped the mold out and ate the rest as my then room mate just watched in sheer amazement. As you can see, we can often do thing that will haunt us years later in our dreams.

My suggestion to you would be to never eat moldy bread, mostly because even in your dreams, while in the presence of scantly clad women in extreme winter, you will still think of the sacred sin (of eating moldy bread) you had committed years years earlier.

and thats all folks …. happy crazy dreaming.

I think its important to sketch a brief map of the arena. The arena is 3D, so its just not a flat plane. It looks like a Mushroom with a giant sky and a thin base. However, the entire color of the environment was dusty golden, hence the Doom 3 reference. Similarly, there were a lot of Mushroom like giant trees, about 5~6 times the height of a normal person. On some locations the the muffin top part of as many as ten giant mushroom trees had fused into each other and some how there tunnels running through these connected mushroom tree top.

Usually, in all my dreams I am both the protagonist and the leader. However, what makes this special was that my brain did not install me as the leader of the squad/group; but just a commoner of the said group.

Keep in mind that my only weapon was a bamboo stick about six feet long, all the while the sky borne enemy was using all the modern weapons that my imagination could conceive. As the bullets and bombs were being bombarded from the top, I could see the walls of the said mushroom like structure collapsing around me. I had no option but to take refuge under a concrete structure supported by roman style columns, the mushroom like structures that spanned as far as the eye could see had also started crumbling under the intense fire that we were receiving.

All of a sudden I realize that I could hear Zinedine Zidane instructions being relayed on a loud speaker, offcourse, i have never heard the man speak and I only know of him through his famous head butt of some Italiano guy in the soccer world cup. That said his instructions were to take on the musharoom structures to be saved from the overhead on slough, and destroy them. Which off course made no sense, why would anyone destroy the very thing that was giving them shelter against the hell from sky. However, for some reason i started doing just as requested, soon i started seeing more & more of our ’squad’ members doing just the same. As this continued, the aerial hell also mellowed out and sky went slowly quite, in fact very quite, and fairly dark at the same time as well.  As I contacted my squad members in the total darkness, we started worrying about the attacks again but this time on the ground as there were many noises that I couldn’t identify in our surrounding.

Some squad members started shooting in the pitch darkness, what appeared from my location as completely random, however, still there seemed to be some method to their madness. Keep in mind that these squad members were in distance, so around 400~500 meters each. I was becoming increasingly cautious of my own surroundings, I could not shoot anything as i still had the same bamboo stick as at the start of the dream, so i had to wait for something to come at me. Fortunately, that never happened.

I started walking through the very mushroom tunnels that we had been trying to destroy earlier, some how those tunnels become from cave like to high-tech james bondsque tunnels.  As I went past the tunnels, I was in Downtown swizerland (even if there even is such a thing) for some reason where I met the rest of the players, which told me that we were only fighting against a computer generated enemy and there was no other team. However, Zinedine Zidane had disappeared half way and thus the game could not be continued.

fade out ….

Thats all folks …  adios, till next time.

That said, as i started walking aimlessly with these people we came across a river that had to be crossed. However, soon we realized that down stream government was already working to build a bridge or tunnel or something. Soon the building process was complete, however, the end  product was neither a tunnel or a bridge, but rather the river had been split in half, i am sure you are thinking Moses’s split of river Niles, however, this was different, it was more around the lines of an engineering marvel than a Godly miracle, with proper brick walls supported by horizontal steel columns on both sides of the wall holding colossal quantiles of water apart. That said, they hadn’t bothered paving the road, it was just like any other unpaved road. We could see a black gate at the end of the road that was holding the river apart. As we got to the gate, we opened the smaller side gate and entered.

Right across from the gate was a dying sport complex, something that looked as if it had been left to rot since the 1850’s. As we entered the sports complex the squash courts were all run down the walls between the courts that were to separate each court had been were all ripped open. There was a maintenance crew dressed in blue uniforms, something typical for such crew I guess, busy fixing the light fixtures and repairing the walls. As i saw and regretted the fact that i had paid some amount (which I don’t recall) to get in, only to find destroyed squash courts. Nonetheless, a man who looked to be in his late 20s, wearing all white and almost nondescript facial features offered me a squash ball to play with him. As we started playing the game I soon realized that the game would be impossible to play with all the maintenance crew still walking about going their business.

All of  a sudden I found myself in the very same room that i had been at the start of this dream, except the girl was different this time around. The first girl i saw had very clear and unique facial features including a chizzled jaw bone structure and down right hot. However, the girl this time around had shorter height and a around face, she was more in the cute category than hot. Nonetheless, the thing that shocked me was that her body was that empty plastic container shaped like a woman and she was constantly filling it up through her neck by thousands and thousands of M & M’s or skittles or something similar with her right hand, all the while her left hand covered her lady parts (i guess it is implied at this point that the bottle was naked and see through but with sort of a skin tone). As she was filling her self up with M & M’s she mentioned that this was important and I should do the same if I want to help generate some funds for the squash courts. At which point I woke up, and I swear to God, it made sense to me how it was possible for her to get charitable donations by filling her self with M & Ms until I finished writing the last sentence, and now the train of thought is dead.

Until next time ……… adios …

As the flight started, for some reason I was given a seat in the first class, it imperative that i declare the fact that I haven’t been in a plane for last 10 years let alone be seated in the first class. Nonetheless, the key element of the plane was that much of it was blue, especially the vivid memory of the air-hostesses’s skirt, which by the way was around lines of a micro-mini rather than the traditional knee high skirts. Finally the plane landed, although it felt like 24 hours in the dream, i am sure that in the real world clock, it was no more than 5 mins for the entire airplane part.

Anyways, finally the flight landed and I recall getting into the car right away, which looked alot like Geo Metro, upon more research, I found out that geo metro is nearly identical to Suzuki Cultus which is incidently sold in Pakistan. Anyways, I was driving with a friend, on what appeared to be a fairly wide and well constructed road with little yellow and black markings on the side of the road as well as giant metal railings almost the same as you’d see in a maximum security prison. The drive was much the same as that of the typical drive in North America, couple of small houses than 10~40 floor building than same pattern repeated with a Mc Donalds or KFC at every intersection. Nonetheless, I have no recollection of the objective of the drive. However, a short distance later we were stopped by a man dressed in a khaki colored uniform, someone went and asked him who he was, as i stayed in the car. Than all of a sudden i knew that he was a police officer. He told us that we could no longer travel inside the car, and if wanted to progress than we must do so on foot. All of a sudden the well built road was replaced with a road stolen out of the post war Germany and the entire scenery had gone black and white. As we walked slowly (I keep using US and WE, however, i have no recollection of who else than myself) through this post war Germany, I could see the gore in the pot holes and on the columns of the corridor that we were walking on beside the road.

Eventually we turned into what looked like a road-side hotel. As we started climbing stairs, We found men dressed in sharp uniforms holding long sweeping brush looking over very small empty clay pots and their brushes constantly circling the pots, I was awfully curious as to what this  was, but i dare not ask anyone, i am not sure what i was afraid off. Eventually we got a room in the hotel to stay. I wanted to see the balcony but i never got a chance, I am almost upset that I missed the chance to see the kind sketch my brain would have had painted off the 1/2 pakistan and 1/2 post war west Germany from the 10~20th floor.

Nonetheless, eventually, i had to take a piss for my life as I darted across the room but I could not find the toilet until i knocked the door across the now greenly lit hallway and a middle aged man, with thinning hair and a cane quietly pointed towards the men with the brushes circling the pots. I got my cue, that it was indeed the flat pots which needed to be pooped in and the men will carry them out, sort of like slaves from the Nazi Germany era, or sometime back i read an article in an UK paper discussing the state of servant class in Dubai.

I traced and talked to the similarly dressed supervisor as to how this was acceptable to have men cleaning other men’s shit & piss from flat pots. However, that man yelled back at me that his supervision area was 7 yards (whatever that means) and he could not take care of everything and every complain.

Thats where more or less the dream ended.